I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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