it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
