I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
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