If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
and you fell through a lawn chair
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
