...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Randomize
