She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
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