your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
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