The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Randomize
