He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
