sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
nutella sex= disaster
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
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