Sry I called you an 8
Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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