i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Randomize
