I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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