There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
