I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
