Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
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