jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Randomize
