did you get engaged???
4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Randomize
