Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Randomize
