My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
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