i think my mom watched the whole time
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
It was like getting head from an anaconda
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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