I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
