im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Come share oat with me in your robe
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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