just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Randomize
