I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
Randomize
