Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
