I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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