Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Randomize
