She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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