Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Randomize
