hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
i think i just naturally attract stoners
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