dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
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