Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Randomize