Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
be right there i have to get my cape
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
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