Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
