How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Randomize
