If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Randomize
