I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
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