You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
