Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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