hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
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