I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
You pole danced in your parka.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
Randomize
