I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
