evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
so much tequila, so little girl.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
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