Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
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