Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
