Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Randomize
