I wish life had little blips of pornography
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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