don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize