you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
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