Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Randomize
