Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Randomize
