Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
Randomize
