You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
Operation Purity has been aborted
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Randomize
