It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
Randomize
