this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Randomize
