I'm sorry my penis didn't work
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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