Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
