Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize