Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
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