On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
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