I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Randomize
