i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
