Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
