oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
